So when life gets really busy, it offers me a distraction away from all of this. The distraction can be very welcome at times, and very tough to deal with at times. I live a life full or roller coasters. I have ups and I have downs. Sometimes I spin in loops and every now and then I crash and burn.
The common theme in all of this is even when I am up for a very long time, I still crash and fall. During that time, I usually live a night of uncontrollable crying which results in me going for a late night run. I am so sad all the time. Sometimes I am just able to push it all away and exist numb.
I know you all feel as if I have never actually been "me" around you. I have a very tough time dealing with all of this and I tend to act as what I look like. I'm shallow and small. I'm very sorry for that!
~Madi~
PS. This blog is over 2000 page views. Thank you for all of your support! :)
I don't see you as shallow and small. I see you doing what you need to do to make this journey. It can't happen overnight and it takes a lot of energy and emotion. I hope you feel the love and support I know you have. That list of supporters is not complete yet either...some because they don't know, and some - because just like for you, it's a journey...
ReplyDeleteLove to you Madi!
Thanks Kim...I do appreciate your support! It's all so scary because it makes it so real!!! I don't know what to do or anything...
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